Saturday, January 12, 2013

Big Ten Power Rankings (1/6/13)

Big Ten Power Rankings, after one week:

1) University of Adidas: At this point, Michigan looks damn good. Two not-so-difficult games thus far (not a lot of games in this year's Big Ten that I would call easy), but they have been impressive in both. This team has yet to play anyone on the road -- Northwestern, minus 2 starters, and Bradley don't count -- but they have showed off their firepower on offense in nearly every game this season. Michigan has the fortune of starting 3 first round picks, which few teams can claim. As long as Jadeveon Clowney doesn't decide to play college basketball, they will be good all year. It will be interesting to see how they handle traveling to OSU and Minnesota in the next few weeks.

2) Tom-Crean-claps-a-lot University: Excellent, excellent team, that could definitely be the best in the country. Explosive & deep roster all-around. Some might question their close win against Iowa, but any win in the B1G on the road is a quality one, especially considering Iowa is a quality team. Not much else to say except that Tom Crean has really cool hair...

3) University of Tubby-Smith-looks-like-a-gopher: Minnesota is the best rebounding team in the country. Not many teams in the last 10 years have out-rebounded Michigan State by double digits. Andre and Austin Hollins are 2 outstanding guards, and Rodney Williams and Trevor Mbakwe are great on the interior. Balanced team that plays well on both ends of the floor. Good win over MSU and a very "meh" win over Northwestern, thus far.

4) Can't-make-a-layup State: This team misses more bunnies than any in college basketball. Fortunately, they do a lot of things well; rebound, defend (love this about them), and when they aren't turning it over, they take very good shots. One encouraging sign has been their recent 3 point shooting. MSU is 13-26 from 3, thus far, in Big Ten play. We will see if they are actually improving in that area, or they just got lucky. With regards to their performance in their 2 conference games, I thought they had brilliant stretches in both. It is unfortunate that they lost by 13 to Minnesota because they lead for most of the second half.

5) University of holy-fuck-our-football-team-sucked: What team am I talking about? It literally could be about most Big Ten teams because they all sucked this year, but for now I am referring to the worst...Illinois. Regardless of what they did in the fall, their basketball team impressed me against OSU. I actually watched 90% of that game, and they just beat the shit out of Ohio State. Unfortunately, earlier in the week they lost to a below average Purdue team. I still haven't made up my mind about this team, but on January 6th I like them.

6) State: I laughed to myself when I thought of this name, so if you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself. With regards to their ranking, I still think this is a good team. This is just more proof that the Big Ten is incredible this year. Unfortunately for OSU, if Thomas struggles they will lose almost every time. Generating offense for the rest of the team will be a struggle all year, but defensively I still like OSU's ceiling. I will close my description of OSU with this question: How does Thad Matta get uglier each year?

7) University of Our-football-team-scores-more-
than-our-basketball-team: Fuck this team. Fuck Bo Ryan. Wisconsin single-handedly ruins the reputation of the Big Ten every year. They just participated in a 47-41 game. Nothing else to say here.

8) University of Fran-is-a-really-funny-name:
For those that don't know, I am referring to Iowa, and I really, really enjoy the fact that people are named Fran. Looking at their team, they are pretty solid offensively. However, they might be the worst defensive team in the league. Somebody is going to drop a hundo on them eventually.

9) Bow-wow-do-not: I gave them a slight bump for a good win over Illinois at home. I still think this team sucks, however, and they will not make the tournament. With regards to the name I gave them, think about it long and hard, and when and if you "get it," give the credit to my buddy John.

10) Northwestern: Did you think every team was going to get a creative name? Well, you thought wrong you piece of shit. Injuries have killed this team, but they are really terrible right now. I feel bad for NW fans...well, I always do.

11) Insert Joke about Jerry Sandusky:
Life as a Penn State fan must be fucking horrible right now, so I'll take it easy on them. Actually, on that note, I saw a guy in a PSU hat today and thought, "His life sucks."

12) University of the-crustiest-program-in-the-country: Again, like last week, I will refuse to discuss this horrific basketball team.

Good day.

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